Why I Do What I Do
It All Starts with One Simple Question …
Last week Rico Caveglia, a later-life health advocate in San Diego, interviewed me for his “Fearless Aging” podcast (it will air on October 23 on e360TV at 6pm Pacific Time, and we will have a YouTube link to see it as well.) We talked about many of the things I discuss in these pages, and we shed some additional light on what we both could do to motivate more people at this stage of life to look after their health more actively. He was very kind in saying that sharing my experiences since realizing my health mattered more than anything, which I wrote about in my book, is a great example of motivation that can inspire others. It got me thinking about a few other thoughts, which might kickstart some ideas for you.
When I started this health journey, I did not know where it would lead me. All I knew was that without becoming more aware and practicing for better health in the coming years of my life, my daughters would be deprived of a healthy, active father, much like I had been when I was a child. That’s it. That “aha moment” was my motivation, period.
There were no HIIT routines or Zone 2 workouts or yoga classes or detoxes. I did not stop drinking, and I did not immediately start the many practices I regularly do now. There was no psychotherapy to uncover old disempowering patterns, and no awakening to the magnificent wonder of life itself that I experience almost every day. And there was no realization that this time of life is special beyond words, a culmination and combination of wisdom, courage, and experience that give me the most precious days I have ever lived. All that was to come once I started down the long road of taking care of myself so that my daughters would have a dad. The first rule of parenthood is to be there for your kids, literally.
There was also no book idea in the works or any sense, as Rico pointed out, that my story could serve to motivate others who heard it or read it. That was also something I didn’t foresee. But I realize now that I am probably in a unique position, given the emotional and spiritual depths that my practice took me to coupled with the continual push for physical health, functionality, and vitality. And while someone else’s practice and mine might differ, the quality and strength of what motivates us is the same. For each of us, all that motivation is contained in the simple question: “What matters to me? What is there in my life that matters so much to me that I want to experience it longer and in peak health?”
In my case, it began with my realization that my daughters—who were quite young at the time of my “aha moment”—needed to have their dad around. Yet the answer to that question has become richer, more complex, and more compelling as I began to live in that motivation day after day. (If you are struggling to answer this question for yourself, perhaps try asking it this way: “What is precious to me?”)
Now that my daughters are navigating their own lives as young adults, the 24/7 parenting I experienced is not as pressing as it once was, although the “parent” aspect of our relationships never completely goes away. I still want to see them continue to blossom into the wonderful people they are becoming. I may also get lucky and meet some grandchildren at some point, something that wasn’t even a glimmer of hope when I started this journey. (Yes, that initial motivation of parenthood is still as strong as it once was.)
But there is now more as well. There is my own experience of healing and peace. There is the continued evolution of my health practice as I get older. There is my own self-realization, a process that never stops. There is the engaging conversation with a peer as we compare my experience of “what matters” with theirs, a cherished new way I now have of relating with others.
As mentioned, my health practice has taken me to an “interior” landscape where I explore my emotions and spirituality—an unexpected but extremely rewarding exploration. I have evolved a “sacred self” in the process of doing all this. It is the one that was given to me by the universe and was always there, sustaining me in life and health without my knowing it. Being grateful for being able to live this way is perhaps what I look forward to the most every day.
