Revisiting a Timeless Old Friend: The Road Less Traveled

Lately I have been filled with a sustained feeling I can only describe as grace. It is not only a wonderful, healthy feeling of sound mind and body, it is an all-encompassing feeling of peace and connection, of simple presence, of being as opposed to doing, and of experiencing life in the present here and now. There have been less frequent and shorter-term episodes, or windows, of feeling this way in my earlier, working life. But since living the life I describe in my book, A Life Yet to Live, these periods have increased in frequency as well as duration. None have been as powerful and long lasting as now. I am extraordinarily grateful every time this feeling of grace visits, and even more grateful now that it is a steadier and more reliable presence at this often-precarious stage of life.

I have never felt this feeling of grace in such a sustained way as I do now. And when this feeling falters, I have managed to retrieve it by working through the inner thoughts, fears, or other dynamics that may have pushed this feeing away as well as using breathing techniques and my toolbox of resources to reconnect with its source, which I feel within my physical body. I can’t make it happen, but I can prepare myself for this feeling of grace to reappear. It is inextricably tied to overall health—body and soul—in the way I’ve come to know it since I began this journey.

Grace is the only word that seems to best describe this feeling. When I began my health journey for the sake of my daughters many years ago I had no idea this would be one of the wonders and rewards I would experience along the way. It is not enlightenment with a capital “E”, but rather a way, a path if you will, I have found for myself in the practice I have developed that allows me to experience life more freely than previously.

I first came across the word grace used in this context in M. Scott Peck’s remarkable book, The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth. He titles the last section of the book “Grace” and goes through the aspects of our mortal lives, the ones we take for granted, that exemplify the truly miraculous lives we are living. Among them are health, our unconscious minds, serendipity, evolution, and power, all of which are fueled by the universal and still mysterious power of life. These miracles that keep us alive and healing every day are the true wonders of life that we would do well to spend more time being aware of and cultivating.

I read Peck’s book many years ago, like millions of others, and have used it extensively in my own journey, but some parts are still sinking in. I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to know and experience, as well as pursue, inner enlightenment in a more modern context than the ancient texts. My recent rereading of the “Grace” section, in light of how I’ve been experiencing life lately, unearthed some new insights that struck a chord in ways they never have before.

My Unconscious Mind Is My Friend

Peck, a practicing psychiatrist for many years before writing this book, makes a remarkable and bold case that our unconscious minds, the 90% of us we aren’t normally aware of, not only runs the show of our lives but is our best resource for healing ourselves. This is very different from some classical theories that the unconscious holds all the demons that haunt us. It is our conscious minds that say, “Oh no, I shouldn’t do that; I might get punished or what would people think?” Our unconscious is then overridden and emotional problems begin. That conscious part of us becomes afraid of being truly genuine and emotionally honest. It is the conscious mind that feels the need to conform to the pressures around us and fall in line. Peck makes the case that the clues the unconscious mind provides us in the form of dreams, inspiration, anger, or anxiety, and seem to come out of nowhere, are signals from our genuine and universal self that all is not right with the life we are leading. Recognising we are suffering is the first step towards healing.

What does all this have to do with health in later life? Everything. There is no distinct and convenient disconnect between our physical and emotional lives. Our beliefs and our bodies form one interconnected whole, one giant miracle that we are here and alive. In my own world, physical health yields better emotional and spiritual health and vice versa. They feed off each other, as long as I am being honest with myself and guided by the inner prompts that “seem to come out of nowhere.” My “why” in starting this health journey was just such a moment: I suddenly awakened to the fact that I needed to be a vital and healthy father to my two daughters who were quite young at the time. The rest just came spontaneously from that insight.

Laziness, the Original Sin

The other point Peck makes that struck me is that laziness is the only real “sin.” Laziness for Peck is not simply “doing nothing.” For him it is not engaging in the effort to become wholely ourselves, a process I have elsewhere described as “self-realisation.” Failing to engage in self-benevolent and self-awareness activity, especially when it comes to health and our psycho-spiritual life, for Peck, is the ultimate act of self-betrayal and of missing out on what really matters in life, which is love for the miracle of yourself and being able to spread that love around. Not listening to your inner self is the surest way to pass on your own undigested fears and problems, whether that be to your children or others. He equates self-love and self-benevolence with the will to grow and change and to see yourself and the world as they really are. Peck puts all this much more eloquently, and in much more detail, than I ever could.

Peck published The Road Less Traveled in 1978, in an age before electronics and commercial culture intruded on life as much as they do today. Yet it is as fresh and timeless as any text on the subject from any age. If you are looking for a deep dive into the modern version of enlightenment, what it means to be truly alive and human, and to live in grace, read (or re-read) this book.