From the Neck Down
Some Thoughts on Looks in Later Life
I have a friend who teaches facial fitness, a system of exercises for facial muscles that keeps them toned and tight and prevents, or at least delays, the onset of wrinkles. She has a successful practice in London, catering mainly to women. She taught me some of these exercises, and I can see how this can work. It certainly feels good having blood circulate to parts of my face that usually go unmoved. But somehow these exercises haven’t “caught” me, and I stopped doing them, aside from sometimes making funny faces, tensing and stretching my face and neck, to get that nice feeling of circulation.
My preferred image for how I would like my physical appearance to be perceived by others instead comes from a book called What Makes Olga Run? The Mystery of the 90-Something Track Star, and What She Can Teach Us About Living Longer, Healthier Lives by Bruce Grierson.
The book introduces us to Olga Kotelko, a superager athlete whom Grierson studied and spent a great deal of time with. She died at age 95, in her sleep, without a day of major illness in her life. She also held every major track and field record in multiple age groups for many years before her death. She worked out, pretty hard, mostly every day.
Olga set her many sports records in athletic meets sponsored by World Masters Athletics. Meets are open to all ages over 35, in five-year age brackets. Grierson spent a lot of time with Olga to write this book, as well as with her 80- and 90-something friends and fellow competitors. He noted that because of their level of fitness “from the neck down” they looked much younger than they were. It’s what he calls “the incongruity of an older man’s head fused to a younger man’s buff body.”
My body is not “buff.” But it is lean, supple, flexible, and strong. Just as important, the inner workings of my body, the organs, joints, and bones that are beneath the muscles, are also, so far at least, robust and well-functioning. This is because of the amount of activity and the kind and amount of nutrition my body gets. No doubt my genes and my attitude toward myself and my life have some bearing on this as well.
Thanks to my career as a theatrical and movie producer, I’ve known lots of extremely attractive people in my life. And for most of my life what I looked like mattered very much to me. While I wished I was, I knew I wasn’t ultra-handsome like some of my friends. I also knew that, unlike them, I couldn’t rely on looks to get me through life, or at least use it as an advantage. So, in many ways I am less tied to my appearance now in this stage of life when losing it is inevitable. But my point is that what now matters to me most is on the inside, not the outside.
Chasing youthful looks at this time of life is going to be a losing battle, with diminishing returns that will usually lead to disappointment if that’s where I place importance. My self-value is not in the mirror!. Luckily, and gratefully, my health practice has led me to value and celebrate the world inside me, in all its dimensions.
Architects use the phrase “form follows function,” because a building’s function is more important than its design. The foundation and structure are the “guts” of any building. Similarly, when it comes to my body, function matters more to me than form. What I can do matters more than how I look doing it. Who I am inside, and how I feel about myself and life. shows more about me than my outward appearance.
When someone tells me I don’t look my age I am flattered, and I usually simply say “thank you.” In reality, I know that I am nearly 74 years old and present a mature appearance, not a youthful appearance. It’s like a well-maintained classic car versus a brand-new sports car. But what really matters is that my body moves like a younger person, that I have the energy and strength of a younger person. I may look like a classic car, but I have the get-up-and-go of a new sports car.
A long time ago someone said to me “whatever you’re doing on the inside, it shows on the outside.” That still feels like one of the best compliments I ever received. As long as my being, body, brain, and other organs (including my skin, which gets the benefits of good circulation) are in synch and functioning well, my health practice is doing what I want and need it to do. I don’t mind looking like a classic old car as long as the engine and the drive train runs well. The rest is just a fancy paint job.
