A Surprising Lesson in Power
BKS Iyengar once wrote that the purpose of yoga is to find universal spirit within you. I believe, and have experienced, that any effective health practice leads to a different, more alive, experience of inner and outer life. New energy is freed up to power physical, mental, moral and spiritual faculties. Here is a story of one such experience that happened to me.
A few years ago, while planning a business trip to New York, I was pleased to find out that Nikki Costello, my friend and yoga teacher of over 25 years, would be teaching a full-day yoga retreat on the day I arrived. I signed up with trepidation knowing I’d be jet-lagged and probably wouldn’t make it through the entire day. For whatever reason, I knew it was important for me to be there, and I would be in supportive company. Little did I know that I would receive an inestimable gift: a lesson in the source of power within me.
After a full day of travel, I arrived in New York and went straight to bed. I managed to get six hours of sleep before waking up at 2:00 am New York time or 7:00 am London time. The retreat was due to start in seven hours, so I wrote and read to pass those early hours. I tried to nap but couldn’t sleep. My stomach was empty, yet I wasn’t hungry. By the time I arrived at the yoga retreat, I was already tired and depleted. Making apologies to Nikki, I explained that I might crash and have to leave early. She smiled and replied, “Do what you can. I appreciate that you are here.”
In Effort, You Can Experience Repose
Nikki began by outlining what we would be doing that day. The purpose of the retreat was to find rest within the yoga practice, the balance point between exertion and relaxation. We discussed that this same element applies to life; you can find peace and repose within daily effort. The plan was this: we were going to work really hard in the morning session and taper off in the afternoon. I groaned inside at the words “work really hard.” Just what I needed in my state! I kept saying to myself, “Whatever happens, happens!” and “Just go with it.”
We did work really hard! The three-hour morning session was harder than any yoga session I’d ever experienced before or since. We did many poses and held them for what seemed like forever. The practice was based on Iyengar yoga. It included supportive props and the use of walls as well as precise alignment. In each pose, Nikki reinforced how to find the nonstrenuous aspect of that posture that she called the repose. Her questions and comments helped to shed light on what we were trying to accomplish:
“Where in the pose are you not putting in effort?”
“Are you tightening muscles that aren’t necessary to support yourself?”
“Just use the parts of your body you need to; relax the other parts.”
“Relax your jaw and tongue. Don’t clench your teeth. They aren’t necessary for support.”
“Let every part of your body that you aren’t using relax. Don’t overuse the ones that are doing the work. Make sure everything is aligned, and your body will support itself. Find the balance.”
Finding Repose: The Perfect Balance Between Exertion and Rest
This continual examination of what I was doing right – and wrong – made the session a very different experience. At some point, about an hour into the morning, something came alive in me that I’d never experienced before. It was a serene energy that kept me going for the rest of the day. I could hold the poses longer, and I did other poses that I’d never been able to get into, like the inverted elbow stand.
The visceral feeling was a sense of balance between exertion and rest, both being equally active. This experience changed my entire belief about yoga and energy. Despite having practiced yoga for over twenty years, my understanding about what it could do for me and where it could lead me shifted forever. It was a humbling lesson in the true source of power.
Yoga isn’t just an expenditure of energy; it’s a complete experience of our physical and inner life here and now, a microcosm of universal energy. Following the experience in that retreat, this balance between exertion and rest – this repose – is something I now strive for in life, as well as in movement and exercise. Recognizing the importance of this inner power has shifted my life in countless ways.
Tapping into Our Inner Source of Power
How does this story help us relate to the way we think about power? What is the source of our inner power? Where did that energy I experienced in class come from? What keeps me going and gives me the energy to achieve new things? Not rest, willpower, or belief or any other conventional ideas I previously used to explain internal energy. I’m convinced it didn’t spring from caffeine, sugar, fat, protein, or any other food or drug. In fact, it seemed to come out of nowhere!
As a result, I had to suspend my conventional belief that energy is directly associated with my diet or quantity of sleep. It was “humble energy” that I couldn’t take credit for, because I knew it visited me. Nor was it power over anything or mere willpower to push through that full-day yoga class. I had to admit it was serendipitous, an example of grace. However, just showing up at class in the first place was important to engage this lesson.
The class revealed an inner force that transcended my current state of understanding and belief. Because of its strength and clarity, I was able to arrive at a deeper and clearer place than I had previously experienced. This inner force or power is what drives everything in our lives and our world. The more I acknowledge it, the more it visits me.
