2 “Why” Stories That Might Motivate You
In my writing and when talking with others, I’m always looking for ways to motivate people to begin to take care of their health or kick it up a notch. Sadly, given all the distractions and preoccupations that we have come to think of as more important in this modern era, few people take this path. But being in good health and keeping mobile and active, especially in later life, is the prerequisite for living the life you want to be living. I have found that the fundamental driver that gets someone to change their unhealthy ways and pursue better health always involves the question of “why.” After speaking with Dave Stewart for an hour as a guest on his podcast, he titled that podcast episode “Finding Your Why.” If you can find something deep inside you that matters to you enough, it can be a great motivation to pursue a healthier path.
As I shared in my book, my “why” came in the form of a profound “aha moment” 20 years ago when I realized I absolutely had to pursue good health in order to be around for my 2 daughters, who were quite young at the time. What is the most important reason for you to seek good health in your later years? What is your “why”? Here are 2 “why” stories about children and grandchildren that might strike a chord with you and help you clarify your “why.”
A Tale of 2 Grandmothers
One grandmother is 68 years old. She is overweight, not very mobile, and sits a lot. As a result she has some medical warning signs like high blood pressure and high cholesterol. While she is warm and friendly, she asks her toddler grandchildren to bring her things, and she can’t play with them other than playing board games on a table. The other grandmother is 71. She is thin, flexible, and active. She goes to regular yoga classes and walks a lot. She sits on the floor with her grandchildren and plays with them at their level, which sometimes includes hugging, tickling, and general physical contact. These are real people whom I know and have seen in action.
Think about their current interaction with their grandchildren. And think about how many yearsthey will get to spend with their grandchildren by living longer and staying healthy longer. My guess is that the yoga-practicing grandmother has a better chance of seeing her grandchildren grow up—and being an influential part of their lives for all those years. Perhaps she will even meet her great-grandchildren someday. My question to you is, “Which grandparent would you rather be?”
An Extra 20 Years
I recently overheard a heartfelt conversation between a mother and daughter in a small café here on the North Fork of Long Island. The daughter was about 40 years old, and the mother was about 60. The mother didn’t appear to be in good health and, although I didn’t hear details, she seemed to be complaining about getting old. I did hear the following though, as clear as a bell. The daughter said, “Mom, you could have an extra 20 good years if you just take care of yourself.” Those words struck me and stuck with me—the heartfelt plea of a child who loves her mother and wants her to stick around, so they can spend more quality time together. If your children or grandchildren said this to you, what would you say to them, and what would you do?
The Best Gift
Your own health is the best gift you can give your children and grandchildren, your partner, and anyone else in your life whom you deeply care about. This is at the heart of every discussion about healthspan and lifespan—you can spend not only more time with them, but you can spend more quality and healthy time with them.
Happily, I know this to be true in my own life. I am grateful to be able to spend time with my daughters—quality time, in good health. The icing on the cake is that I have inspired them to be healthier in their own lives, and I have given them many more years as a father at full capacity and in good health than they probably would have gotten if I hadn’t taken the drastic steps I did, starting 20 years ago. At my age (76), when most people are welcoming grandchildren into their lives, I am just approaching the “empty nest” phase of life, when both daughters are in college and mostly living their lives on their own.
Here’s another reason to involve loved ones in your “why,” whether that is children, grandchildren, siblings, a spouse or partner, cherished friends, or anyone else you love dearly: Many people feel that the time they might devote to health and taking care of themselves is “selfish.” I assure you, it is not. But when you clarify that “I’m doing it for them” it is easier to justify time spent at the gym, in the swimming pool, on bike rides, or shopping at the farmers market for fresh fruit and vegetables.
When I started my health journey, I used to tell myself that every hour I spent in the gym would give me an extra healthy day to spend with my daughters. I have no idea whether that is anywhere near true, but even if it is close, that would mean I “earned” an extra 16 years or so based on my activity level over the past 20 years. And even if my idea is pure fiction, it helped motivate me to get out of the house and go do that workout.
What’s more, if my own story is typical in any way, you’ll discover a wonderful bonus. What you learn about yourself and your life when you start taking care of yourself can be the ground out of which new seeds of awakening and appreciation of life begin to grow. That’s a win-win in my book. A better life for your loved ones, and a better life for you.
